Do you know what it feels like to be a mother? What is your journey of motherhood? What according to you is joy of mothering? If you are a mother I am very sure you will enjoy reading this blog till the end. If you are a father then you must read through to understand what it feels like being a mother. And for all the other readers, be it children or anyone else its a wonderful read for you to get an insight how a mother feels.
On this mother’s day I thought of asking few questions to couple of mothers including myself. The below mentioned write-up is by different mothers without any filter. I purposely chose mothers whose children are in early childhood, middle childhood and adolescent age group. They are mothers who handle their children single handed or with support. They live either in joint family or in nuclear. She is a mother of one child or mother of two children.
So on this mother’s Day lets sit back and enjoy this article filled with emotions, love and mothering.
My feelings on becoming a mother
When I delivered I thought that the toughest part of motherhood was over. However I was wrong because pregnancy and giving birth seemed like a cake walk as compared to different challenges of nurturing the little one on everyday basis.
I feel being a mother is totally a mixed bag of emotions. There are so many emotions which are felt in one single day right from being happy, irritation, anxiety, sadness etc. At the same time that feeling of holding your little one in your arms and those innocent eyes looking at you for her needs is a blessing.
24 hours of my life
I feel after becoming mother I have become more structured in my life. That first language of a new born which is ‘cry’ keeps you on your toes all the time as you cannot tell the little one to be quiet. I love this change in me as I feel my child keeps me driven and I feel now I use my 24 hours so wisely which I had never done till date.
Motherly instincts are very important
I had always studied that the child has innate qualities which no one can control. Now I can see that. The child picks up most of the things by imitation and parents are the child’s role model. However there are certain traits which the child has of his own hence how much ever you jump you cannot change that.
One thing that has become very strong in my head is that people around have set expectations about your child. If not expectations then they definitely try to judge your child or you as a mother. Hence being confident about your motherly instincts is very important.
You can take suggestions or advice from whom you want to but it’s best to ignore all the unwanted advises. That’s because I feel every mother has her own way of bringing up her child. No two families or mother can have similar situations.
I have become much stronger then what I was after becoming a mother. Motherhood has taught me that you cannot control anyone in life, not even a toddler as everyone knows what they want in life. And it’s best to respect the tiny tot and give them proper guidance and direction as a parent. Also its easier for me to relate with emotions of many mothers around me. I think motherhood is a bliss and challenging too. Being a mother is like reading a very interesting book where in you learn new chapter everyday which no other role can teach you
Being a mother is learning about strengths you didn’t know you had and dealing with fears you never knew existed- Linda WootenI never understood this quote till the time I became a mother and I had never thought that becoming a mother can actually show you an image that you had never seen before
No emotion can equate the Joy of motherhood- by Forem
Being a mother is a mixed bag. As much as it is immensely fulfilling to be a mother at the same time it can get overwhelming. After all the onus is yours to raise a human being into a reasonably good and sensitive person. This in itself is a huge responsibility. Having said that, no emotion can equate the joy of motherhood. When your child’s innocent eyes look up at you and meet yours, no words can define that bliss!
What has motherhood taught Forem?
Yes indeed! Motherhood had taught to me wake up early!! It has taught me how capable I am. There is so much that can be achieved in a day! It has taught me that all women are energy powerhouses! We are able to wake up at all types of odd hours and still fulfil everything that is expected out of us. More than anything else motherhood has made me realise how much my own parents have done for me! I have a new found gratitude for my own parents thanks to motherhood.
How can one improve relationship between a parent and a child?
One of the most important lesson that I have learnt very recently is that somewhere we believe that whatever we are telling our children is falling on deaf ears. However, though our children may appear unperturbed on the outside, deep down what we think about them matters a lot to them. They may not be verbal about it because they are not capable of expressing as well as us. The minute we start believing with all our heart and soul that yes what I am saying is heard, it makes a huge difference. We start speaking to them more politely, we are able to persuade our children into our viewpoint more easily and we tend to shout less. The overall relationship between a parent and child improves.
My quote on motherhood “Your children have their own identity and they in no way represent you!”
How would you describe motherhood?-by Varunika
How would you describe motherhood? Ever been on a beach? The one where you can feel the sand, squish slowly through your toes, where you are sure to get all dirty and wet and never come out clean.
It is also the same place where we witness the best of sunrises and sunsets, where the water touches not just our bodies but our souls too, where you find laughter and giggles and souls drenched in happiness. To me motherhood is like a walk on that beach. And I say this because I am a sublimely happy mother of two girls aged 1.5 and 4.5 yrs. respectively.
Is it easy to remain positive amidst rearing children single handed?
Of course, it’s challenging if we consider the fact that my husband is a mariner sailing for almost 8 months in a year. In fact raising two kids single handed requires an altogether different level of mental, physical ability and agility. So yes my days are never perfect. Some days i feel like shutting myself in a room and crying out loud, like real loud. And just when I think I have lost it completely, comes a night when I wake up in the middle of the night, only to find myself mightily happy and reassured that i am at the right place, beside my children. I wonder in complete awe how did I get so lucky to be the creator of something so perfect! Does that kind of happiness or emotion exist when we look at anybody else? When was the last time someone gave you that warm toothy smile, followed by a warm hug and a honey dipped kiss before falling asleep. Even on the most pale, exhausting and dreadful day, I still go back to bed smiling because this is as good as it gets.
Power of motherhood
That is what motherhood has done to me. It has made me capable of loving. Along with love, motherhood also instils a sense of righteousness. Born to a diligent middle class family in a small hill station I have anyways been a little old school. Yet now i feel compelled to do the right thing almost always. I know my daughters are watching me. They are seeing how I treat people, how I let others treat me, how I treat life. Just about everything is being observed and learnt. I feel I cannot fail now. I feel I am evolving now.
And if there is anything I would like to share with mothers across the world it is this –
Our children will grow up and grow apart one day
They will want to own their life , make their decisions, grow closer to other people ,travel to unexplored territories ,experience heartbreak; All of which they must. Until then let us embrace motherhood in all its glory. It is the most demanding and the most fulfilling journey of our lives. Tread it with love and righteousness because at the end of it all, only that will matter.
Real meaning of mothering – by Mitu
Oh! I’m so proud of my children, they are an apple of my eye, they are the best gift I could have ever asked for, and so on; but the story is incomplete…
When my elder son was put in my arms for the first time I felt that’s it, pregnancy over job over, rest all is a cake walk. I was least aware of the real meaning of mothering and when it dawned to me (which happened no sooner) I turned to my mother. It did give me some direction yet very soon I realised that the system needs an update.
Unlike our mothers who were shadowed behind their family we stand at the forefront. So here we are together in search of a meaningful life. After a long day we yearn to share a peaceful time, exchange laughter’s, tuck together to start a new day. At the end of the turbulence it still feels worth it, every bit of it.
Key to hold the relation with your children
Indeed, I have grown in all aspects. It’s a privilege to raise children of this era. Their uniqueness is celebrated and freedom is harnessed.
I know there are thousands of books published on child rearing yet every parent says :the child is just like me. Only to make me realise that there is no one size fits all manual for rearing a child. What hold the relationship are faith, unending dedication and seamless abilities to learn from your own mistakes.
I love Khalil Gibran’s quote – ‘Children do not come from you, they come through you. Though they with you, they do not belong to you.’Give them wings, teach them to fly. Sooner or later children will go away. As a parent make your life so strong and meaningful that they want to come back to you- to tuck together and get ready to start a new day.
Parenting is a never ending journey- Once a parent always a parent.
Journey of motherhood by- Dr.Aditi
Oh my, getting back to the memories of my pregnancy and delivery is giving me my motherhood pangs back. But no I am sure I am not ready to go through all of it again!!
My son is now 7 years old and the moment I saw him for the first time my heart did skip a beat. I felt he was mine and only mine, born out of me, my skin and blood.
Then as days passed I felt a huge load responsible for whatever he did and whatever happened to him. I felt I can do him no wrong and I have to be the best mother possible. Being a paediatrician myself I believed that I knew everything about babies, what’s the big deal?
How to rear a child with team effort?
Over the last 7 years the one thing that I have learnt is bringing up a baby is a team effort .Just like cricket, you can be the captain if u want however let someone else do the batting, bowling and fielding too. By doing this your stress level goes down considerably. So if you are somebody who lives in joint family like me it try to keep everyone happy at the same time keeping your own discretion for certain things.
Divide the duties
- I allowed a maid to come for his massage and bath
- Allowed bottle feeding
- Okay with my son watching a bit of TV even when he was as small as 1 year
- Kept a maid for him at 15 months to do all the extra stuff like washing, cleaning etc
- But I made it a point to play with my son everyday by becoming a little child myself, all those goo goo’s and bantering and jumping and screaming etc
- Spending time with your child is very important
Me time is a must
I am lucky to have my mother in law at home who is as much a mother to my son as me. Thanks to her I could join back work. This advice I would like to give all mothers. After spending a certain time devoted only to your child like about the first 6 months, try and get busy with some routine. Either you can work or any part time job or simply pursue a hobby. That will give you some ME time which we all need.
The other thing I believe is that as a mother never hesitate to ask for help from people at home, close friends or express your concerns to your doctor, whether about yourself or your child.
What motherhood has taught Dr.Aditi?
At the end of the day there is no happiness better than the one you get when your child comes running to hug you and is so happy to see you.
Just your babies smile and hugs take away all your boredom and tiredness and you feel rejuvenated again.
I still have a long way to go and I know at each stage there will be something new to learn. And motherhood teaches you a lot of things like being patient, being responsible, being childlike. It’s like going back to your childhood days and reliving them !
The motto I follow is: “Be teachable, there is always something to learn “
When it comes to being a good mother. Don’t assume that you know everything.
Joy of motherhood by Prof. Nehal
The first Hi in Sonography, the kicks in the womb, your first cry in OT were the elating moments filled with The Joy of Motherhood
Days after your birth when I was struggling to adjust the upturned routine, day and night sleep disorders ,a phone call from a close relative… asking me, “Hello How are you?? Enjoying Motherhood?”
On hearing these words MOTHERHOOD made me forget all the pain and rekindled in me the joy of being Mother.
What changes can motherhood bring in your life?
It also made me realise that motherhood is not a child’s play, It brings along responsibilities which are not just being always there for your child. Be it feeding or nappy changing but also allowing her the space to be herself. It also means creating an amicable and safe atmosphere where she can grow happily.
Being a mother changed me from a carefree girl in me to a caring and protective person not only for my child but for others around.
From all these ups and downs, laughter’s and cries, parties and sick leaves, growth and illness. One thing that I have gathered is, at the end of the day all that matters is happiness of the child.
Finding happiness in small things with children
Happiness doesn’t come from pampering or showering luxuries and fulfilling all demands. Rather from simple things like spending quality time with child, taking them to gardens, beaches playgrounds or just playing games with them.
This helps to inculcate in them the quality to find happiness in small but real things in life
“Motherhood is knowing that its not a childs play but being able to reveal that it is “
Relation between a child and a mother – by Suman
I vividly remember the day when I tested positive for pregnancy. The thought brings a smile on my face even today.
Motherhood has made me more loving, more giving and more selfless. My children take precedence in whatever I choose to do. I want to be safe, I want to be responsible and I want to be healthy so that I can be with them.
Initially it was indeed difficult. I was tired and frustrated with the pain and grief pregnancy bought along with it. But when I held my son in my arms and he smiled that took me into a different zone. Complete bliss.
I feel I grew up as a mother with my kids. I have realised being patient and understanding their point of view is better than just enforcing a certain code of conduct.
No relation is as pious as a mother and child relationship. Absolutely divine!!
I hope you could connect to the feelings expressed by the mothers. Motherhood is a very special bond. Hence no mother should doubt her capability. Every mother is unique in her own way and will always think best for her child.
My heartfelt gratitude to Forem, Varunika, Mitu, Suman, Dr.Aditi and Prof. Nehal for sharing your deep thoughts on what it feels like to be mother and joining hands with me to make all the mothers feel special on this mother’s day.
If you as a mother would like to share your feelings or any thoughts on motherhood please do in our comment section or drop us an email.Happy Mother’s Day